6th
More Beer Live Blog Featuring a Bunch of 12 Year Olds Who Are Going to be Real Pricks When They Go Back to School This Year
by Orel Miraculous
Its been over 2 months since our last post here at More Beer which means its time for 2 or 3 more posts before we spend the next 2 months doing nothing again. And so the cycle of life continues.
Anyway what better way to break our hibernation than with a live blog? Not not just a regular live blog, a Little League World Series Live Blog? Not just a Little League World Series Live Blog, but a Little League World Series New England Regional Round Robin Live Blog? And to top it all off, who is representing Massachusetts in today’s game against Shelton, CT? That’s right Parkway National Little League of West Roxbury, MA!
For those of you who don’t know, West Roxbury is the town that I kind of live in and Parkway National Little League is the organization that my Dad kind of coaches in. Now I didn’t grow up in West Roxbury and my Dad only coached the 10 year olds so there’s really no inside information that we can add to this experience. Nevertheless here we are on the couch, just a father and his adult son enjoying some Little League baseball. Let’s get it on!
Top 1
Well they’ve only played one half of one inning but I already know that Shelton, CT is gonna cruise in this one. I’m even going to call them one of the favorites to win the whole thing in Williamsport. Its bold but I’m confident in my statement after hearing Lou Merloni say that CT’s pitcher Eddie Kochis, who just struck out 2 of the first 3, is only their third-best pitcher. Kochis is hitting 68 on the gun and throwing curveballs for strikes. If you’ve got 2 pitchers who are better than this kid then you know you’re in good shape.
Botom 1
Its worth noting that in 2002 the Red Sox bucked local pressure and let go of fan-favorite Lou Merloni. Then this off-season they took a risk and replaced the popular sideline reporter Tina Cervasio with the younger, more athletic Heidi Watney. Today Merloni and Cervasio make up 2/3 of the broadcast team for a Little League regional round robin game that doesn’t even matter because both teams have already advanced to the semi-finals. Ladies and gentlemen, the smartest front office in baseball does it again.
Top 2nd
You ever see one of those documentaries about the Brooklyn Dodgers? They always feature an old guy who says that on a summer afternoon you could walk down Flatbush Avenue without missing a pitch because every stoop had the game on the radio. Well I just walked down Centre Street here in West Roxbury and all I saw was a woman walking three dogs, some ne’er-do-well street kids throwing sticks at a city bus, and some guy shout across to his friends accross the street that he wanted the “super beef”. Its safe to say that the Parkway National All-Stars are no Brooklyn Dodgers, the woman walking the three dogs couldn’t even tell me who was pitching tonight.
Eddie “Cy Young” Kochis strikes out the side.
Bot 2nd
Hey! The the last name of West Roxbury’s second baseman is Rodriguez! Let’s hear it for our first non-white kid sighting of the tourney! Congratulations Dave Rodriguez of West Roxbury, MA which instantly becomes the favorite team of everyone who’s sick of rich kids named Taylor and McKenzie turning double plays in Williamsport.
Top 3rd
A kid wearing sunglasses at night breaks up the no-hitter. I’m trying to think of a major leaguer who always wears sunglasses a la David Duval and all I can think of is Eric Gagne. Can I really call a 12 year old Eric Gange? That just doesn’t seem right.
Dave Rodriguez grounds into a fielders choice and thus plays up the latin infielder no-hit, all-glove stereotype. Way to go Rodriguez, Tommy Smith you are not. (Note: in order for this joke to work, please pretend this is 1981 when the only Latin players in MLB were crappy shortstops and not, you know, the best players at every position in the game).
The most dangerous offensive weapon in Little League, the passed ball, puts 2 guys in scoring position for Massachusetts but Eddie “Walter “Big Train” Johnson” Kochis records his 6th K to end the threat.
Bot 3
Giving extra bases to Connecticut is like saying “No” to Kobe. Its a bad idea. Its almost as bad an idea as thinking that Kobe rape jokes have a place in a Little League running diary. To be clear, they do not, so let’s just move on and pretend that never happened.
“God he looks just like his younger brother Cameron… and his older brother Matt… and his father Tom”. Guess who said that, Lou Merloni or my dad?
Pitching change for Massachusetts and its about time, West Roxbury’s coach is gonna killed for this on WEEI tomorrow.
6-0. In the words of every kid on West Roxbury, “this games ovah”
Top 4th
Eddie “Rick Helling in 1998” Kochis mows em down 1-2-3 again. Scott Boras is in the stands telling his parents that the Dodgers have an offer on the table if they can figure out how to break his contract with Shelton. Come on team Boras and Kochis, put your heads together!
Botom 4th
Sorry, was busy eating a stuffed quahog for most of the inning. Connecticut scored some runs.
Top 5th
Holy crap! The kid who wears the sunglasses is named Hector Diaz! This means that burried amongst the Murphys and Houlihans, West Roxbury has not one but 2 Latino starting players! Come on Massachusetts! America’s Team!
Unfortunately Diaz promptly strikes out. He becomes Eddie “Randy Johnson against John Kruk” Kochis’s 7th strikeout victim in a row.
Bot 5th
Kid whose little brother my Dad knows makes a fine play at third base.
Top 6th
The scoreboard operator in Bristol started playing “Enter Sandman” in anticipation of Shelton bringing in Eddie “Mariano Rivera and/or Billy Wagner” Kochis to close out the game. Instead Shelton brings in some kid named Tyler. Could this come back to bite them?
…Nope. Inning over, game over, Shelton wins.
2, 4, 6, 8 who do we appreciate? Live Blog! Live Blog! Yaaaaaaay Live Blog!
