1st
The Road to Beijing 2008, Now With More Stereotypes! Part II: Swimming
by Dick Bitner
Say what you want about More Beer. We make stuff up. Most of what we write is neither funny nor informative. We go months without posting anything. We are read by absolutely no one in the world. The list of complaints against us is endless. But what you can’t say is that we don’t give the people what they want! And what do they want? Olympic previews! (Note: You absolutely can say that we don’t give the people what they want and many of the reasons for this were enumerated in the first paragraph. But I wanted to begin this post with an emphatic literary flourish and I’m such an uncreative and downright awful writer that all I could come up with was “you can’t say we don’t give the people what they want.” Why do I feel the need to do this? Because introductions are hard. Real hard. And pointless. You know what the post is about just by looking at the title, so why do we need some elaborate lead into it? We don’t, so consider this introduction over and enjoy Part 2 of our series (Note: Seriously, enjoy it. This very well could be the only post we write this summer so soak it in.))
Part 2: Swimming
Who’s Playing? Don’t know, I couldn’t find anything online about it.
Who’s Going to Win? That Australian guy. Wait, did he retire? If he didn’t, then I choose him. Also, if the IOC has allowed the use of animals in this sport, the United States should use a shark on their swim team. A hungry shark.
Best Beer to Drink While Watching: Natural Light. Probably about the same consistency as chlorinated pool water.
How to Heckle Countries that Aren’t America: Landlocked countries: this is obvious. Sea faring nations: Threaten to Exxon Valdez their shit.
